Inspiration for Moms Trying to Look Good Again

Many women a female parent arrive on my blog because they googled "I've lost my identity afterwards being a mom." Information technology can happen, hither are some of the major causes of a stay-at-home-mom identity crisis.

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I was riding along in the car the other day listening to the radio when a vocal came on from high schoolhouse.

A song I knew every word to.

I didn't particularly love this song, simply it got me thinking. You know… I used to similar music.

I used to know the names of upwardly and coming bands. I bought CDs before they were cool and I loved listening to music.

I went to concerts.

I danced with friends and strangers.

I had a social life.

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In that moment it became clear to me that, along with music, I've let go of many other habits and things I used to enjoy. I eat out less. I travel less. I run across my friends less.

I've seen two movies in the theater in the by yr, and both have been cartoons.

It isn't that I don't love existence a mother. I really really exercise. Merely I'm nonetheless living in the transition from who I used to be, to who I am now.

And so many parts well-nigh my life accept changed, and I'm struggling to catch up with myself.

Read: Enjoy Being A Female parent Again With These Stress Relieving Mindsets

Y'all remember the days…

You watched what you wanted to sentinel. You ate when you lot wanted to consume and at the temperature you lot wanted to swallow information technology.

You slept when you felt tired and stayed up if you didn't. Y'all know… you were in command of your own life.

Though yous're still in control of your ain life now, things are unlike. Your desires, motivations, and spontaneous urges don't factor into your decision making as much every bit they used to.

Now, you consider your children'due south needs equal to or to a higher place your own in the twenty-four hours to day.

This is adept and fine and correct.

Just it'southward however a shock to the system.

It still takes getting used to.

Read: v Signs Yous Might Exist A Depressed Mom — And How To Start Feeling Improve

Reasons moms lose their identity

I want to mention here (before yous send me hate mail) that these things in themselves are neat.

They are morally neutral.

It isn't that you're wrong if yous do them, just that their effects can have an unanticipated consequence on you.

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one. Moms lose their identity considering their lives circumduct around their kids

This is perplexing because – hullo – when nosotros have kids our days do revolve around them.

However, there's a difference in your daily routine revolving around the kids and the unabridged significant of your life revolving around them. You tin still be on duty 24/7 and be involved in other things.

Developed bible studies, girls nights, charity work, or service projects with your kids will take you lot from your four walls home bubble to a more than well-rounded perspective.

I struggle with this every bit a mom to many young ones who also writes about raising young ones.

I have to seek out other things or I go tunnel vision.

Read: How To Live Within Your Limits And Hold Your Boundaries

2. Moms lose their identity because they cease  caring virtually how they wait

I used to take pleasance choosing an outfit, doing my pilus, and accessorizing each morning.

I liked information technology.

At present I'm lucky if I carp to cover my hair in a cap and observe matching do tops and bottoms. Some days I do, some days I don't.

This is a non-issue for me considering I know it'll change with time, however…

It does cause me to feel that I'm not the "woman" I used to exist. I don't look as put together or bonny equally I once did. I await at women with one or two children or all in school and think…

"Wow… her nails friction match her outfit…"I'm non crying on my pillow almost it, but it does make a divergence.

Read: Words Every Emotionally Exhausted Mother Needs To Hear

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three. Moms lose their identity because they have to slow downward (fifty-fifty though they feel more busy)

This is a big 1 for many women.

They are used to be so involved in many things that becoming a mother can exist difficult. I did a survey once and the #1 challenge mothers mentioned was loneliness.

They felt isolated, alone, and bored at home when their babies were pocket-size.

Having children tin be a large change for your personality and temperament. This life change tin can make you experience like a unlike person.

Perhaps you aren't the life of the party or don't see your friends very frequently.

While this in itself might non bother you, it will yet affect how you lot run across yourself.

Read: The Real Reason Moms Never Have Plenty Time (Hint: It's Non Because They Waste It!)

iv. Moms lose their identity because their identity revolved around their job.

Some girls dreamed of becoming a mom since babyhood. These moms may detect the transition to motherhood easier. Others find it more hard.

Moms who have given up a fulfilling career to come dwelling may take symptoms akin to stupor.

Fifty-fifty if it's your pick to stay at home (and yous don't regret it), it'south a large change to lose the validation and satisfaction of a job well done.

Especially a job with measurable results. The job may non feel equally important, and it definitely doesn't pay as well.

Just be encouraged, as the wise lady at my corner store says,"Maternity is unpaid, yet still highly rewarding."

Read: The Stay At Abode Mom Schedule That'll Keep You Sane

5. Moms lose their identity because they've lost liberty they once had.

This was a large one for me.

Every bit an simply child (nascence order does matters) who had traveled extensively, non beingness able to practice "whatever I wanted when I wanted" has been an ongoing struggle.

I have been happy to make choices that benefit my unabridged family, simply information technology has changed the fashion my life looks in every manner. Very footling going out, staying up tardily, or socializing.

Of grade, I can still do these things with kids, but life has shifted and information technology's been disconcerting.

half-dozen. Moms lose their identity because they don't get enough sleep.

Prioritizing sleep is a must.

If a mother and baby are slumber-deprived and overtired, moods become erratic. Emotions remain just under the surface. While the newborn period may be tough to survive,  afterwards that things should get easier.

You can encourage your babies to sleep longer and you can fifty-fifty have power naps yourself. Even if you have to rent assistance or trade babysitting to take a long nap, it is worth it.

In fact, the number one thing that decreases stress is residual.

Yes, we'll probably all sleep with ane ear open forever now that we accept others to scout over, but that doesn't mean we need to plow into Mombies.

Read: Everything Y'all Needed To Know About Sleep

How moms can find their identity once more

This isn't difficult or fast, but here are some general means you lot tin can try to stay connected to who you are, non just your office.

• Find new ways to connect with friends | Instead of regular nights out or coffee dates, have playdates or monthly volume clubs. Instead of restaurants and movies effort the park or a local playground.
• Have a hobby | Hither are 60+ hobbies expert for the sahm lifestyle, but try to find a hobby yous used to honey and make time for it. Even if it's something more agile similar hiking, endeavour to fit it in even one time a quarter. You lot may think information technology's impossible, but if you piece of work hard to make it happen, information technology will.

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• pinpoint an upshot
• draw out how it'southward affecting you
• label what you don't like most it
• determine areas of responsibility
• figure out how it'due south showing up
• say what yous'd rather happen
• brainstorm solutions

• Cease comparison | This is the "secret" to existence content in each season. Nonetheless, it's hard not to look back and forrad when times are tough. By focusing on the things that are fleeting now (chubby infant thighs) you'll be less likely to be jealous of old times.
• Get help | Whether you need to hire someone, trade babysitting, beg family unit members, or simply become to playgroups with helpers… do what you lot need to practice. If yous are a weary and overwhelmed mom, the furnishings will build upwards.
• Take care of yourself | Put the baby or toddler in the crib and take a shower. If you loved dress, get dressed up. If you liked having nice hair, do your pilus. Don't neglect the things that used to bring you pride and pleasure, even if no 1 sees them but the infant, you lot'll feel ameliorate.

You will never have a life similar you did pre-motherhood, and that's okay.

Just y'all can slowly commencement to find yourself again.

Your identity isn't lost, it'southward just buried under diapers and onesies.

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Source: https://amotherfarfromhome.com/6-reasons-mom-loses-identity/